I got some baggage with this place and the fandom, and I want to let it all out. I'm tired of feeling like an outsider circling something I used to love, and now only interacting with it, instead of embracing it.
When I lost my mother and was catatonic, you lost interest in me. While I was trying to find a will to live and to actually get to a point I could literally talk again, you went and got another boyfriend.
And then stole two of my characters.
And had your new boyfriend draw art of them, acting like you didn't steal them from me.
And I had to learn all of this and battle my depression at the same time. And you knew I was going through it. You just didn't care.
And now I see you in chat, and you're just as awful now as you were then. I'm just glad more people see it.
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I never got to say goodbye to you. I was poor as hell, and lost my internet connection. When I finally came back nearly a year later, you were gone. I tried messaging you on everything. To this day I worry. What if you thought I was avoiding you? Hated you? You never responded, and you've left here completely. All of it. I wish I could have been there to talk to you. Not to talk you out of leaving if you wanted, but just to say good bye. You were a good friend.
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And so were you. I didn't even notice you left. You said you're still around. But you didn't reply to my message. I hope you're doing well. Even if you left the fandom too.
I wish I got more goodbyes from my friends.
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I didn't want to write a story about your character. You wrote about mine and posted it, and expected a story back. I don't even know the show of the guy you wanted with your OC. I hate that you made me lose interest in one of my characters because every time I look at them, I see an obligation.
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I miss Secret Santa. One year, I got a group together and was able to do a secret santa. No one knew who the other artists were, only I did. IT was soooo much fun coordinating, telling who got whom, checking in on art progress, making sure it was all working out. No one cut and ran, no one was left out. Everyone got something. I loved it.
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I wish I could talk to you, but you're so much smarter than me. And some how, it always makes me feel dumb. That I bring nothing to the table. We haven't spoken in awhile. I tried, but I think I only bored you. Sorry if you felt I was wasting your time.
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You told me you were dealing with some tough stuff IRL and that was the last I ever heard of you. I hope you won those battles. Maybe that means you stepped away from all the internet stuff. If that happened I'm glad. I hope you still alive, avoiding old friends, and happy, over the alternative.
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You told me you were facing homelessness. You used my crush on you to manipulate me. When I helped advertise you were taking commissions, I was the one people went to when you took the money and ran.
And then you bragged about it. I knew you were a jerk at times, but I put up with it because jerks had been all I ever dated, but that was the last straw. I don't know where you are now but I hope your attitude caught up with you.
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11 months ago
24 Jun 2023 16:39 CEST
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