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OzzieKitSkunk

Intolerance Destroys Friendships and Communities

That shouldn't be news to anyone. It wasn't that long ago that people banded together to say "Hey, gay and lesbian people are okay and we shouldn't be stepping on their rights and way of life." Now everyone is like "Screw that, only what I'm into matters!" and "You know/talk to THAT guy? I'm blocking you!" Really, what is the deal with so much intolerance, especially in a group that already has its inherent kinks on full display? If you can't be friends with someone because they have a kink you don't like or they are friends with someone who's kink you disagree with, then you need to re-evaluate what friendship means to you. Some people will just up and block you for being friends with, or simply watching a certain artist or artists, without even talking to you about it. Zero communication. Just block and shun. It's a giant step backwards. Why? What if they're not even into the same things, and they simply like to talk to them? I'm sure we can all relate to people judging us based on what we are into, be it diapers, regression, TG, macro, micro, gore, transformation, shota/loli, or just vanilla furry. It never feels good, especially when it comes from people you know and thought you were friends with. If it makes you happy, and isn't hurting anyone, then what's the problem? Are they shoving the art or kink in your face after you politely asked them not to? Are they somehow magically putting the stuff you disprove of onto your computer?

Of course, it's different if someone has done awful, wrong, or illegal things in real life. Most of the time, these are just fantasies. We can't actually get younger, we can't shrink or grow to giant size, we can't transform into animals, but that's also the appeal. Being fantasy means it doesn't have to play by the rules of reality. On the other hand, it can also be annoying and cause depression, because so many of us wish we could become younger and/or smaller and/or giant. Being a babyfur or being into regression, or even shota stuff doesn't mean you want to do things with actual children, and it never has. In my experience, people simply wish they were young again, diapered again, cared for again, loved again, and be carefree. Nothing wrong with that at all. If you can't separate the two in your head, then maybe you should do some research. Not just research in your own safe space either, branch out and read up on the truth before judging others. Or, if you're that determined to block that person, at least have the decency to tell them why and try talking about it before doing so.

We live in an age where talking to someone is so easy, yet so many people will just refuse to do so. Sometimes when they do, they still reject you and eventually block you because they cannot separate fantasy from reality. We can't help what we're into, and it isn't wrong. Blocking and shunning people will only lead to you having less friends. Friends are rare. True friends are even more rare. When we have friends, good friends, we should hold onto them and not be so intolerant. The world would be a much better place if we could all just practice reason, understanding, and tolerance.
Viewed: 182 times
Added: 11 months, 1 week ago
 
Friar
11 months, 1 week ago
Some people have made it their life's work to block those who follow people they don't like, and then go, "oh dang why am I all alone. What happened."
moyomongoose
11 months, 1 week ago
There's a terminology for that...It's called dragging others into their wars.
BrithanyBabyfur
11 months, 1 week ago
Exactly
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months, 1 week ago
Yep, exactly.
Reizinho
11 months ago
Exactly. I see this a lot. People expect friendship to be perfect and that we won't find perceived flaws on others (I say perceived, because what is a flaw for one person may not be for another). People should be more tolerant.
ShiroganeAlex
11 months ago
esto, definitivamente, esto define a muchos en internet
YellowSnowlep
11 months, 1 week ago
Tolerance is a paradox sometimes, in that certain things can not be tolerated in a tolerant society. As to what can not be tolerated it is things like hate groups, using your platform to spread harmful incorrect things about certain groups based on things like gender, race, sexual orientation, ect. Things that a certain racoon has made come to mind, as those should not be tolerated in the furry fandom. Also I totally feel this, as an artist it is always frightening when you draw certain topics that some people deem "unacceptable" as it can lead to some bad things.
KevinSnowpaw
11 months, 1 week ago
I agree intolerants of immutable characteristics especially when one advocates HATE should be resisted and opposed but in a truly tolerant society one must tolerate even the intolerant, anything less is hypocrisy. :( there are plenty of people with very hateful views who justify it with the excuse of being an ally or protecting others....

You may not like the Racoons Opinions, but so long as they remain opinions and not actions, there should not be subject to forced silencing for example.


But that does not mean you have to accept or embrace hateful opinion or that you cannot speak out against them. TO the contrary they should be opposed...

Just bare in mind, some things are right and wrong and some things are "acceptable" based on the current cultural zeitgeist always keep in mind, whats tolerated today may not be tomorrow and vice versa....anything based on opinions is mutable. Allways bare in mind "who determines" what is and is not "tolerable"
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months, 1 week ago
Yeah, but only to a point. I have been very tolerant to people I disagree with, but if they keep pushing and pushing without reason and after I have asked them nicely to stop, then and only then do I consider blocking them. People can at least TRY to be more tolerant altogether. Especially these days.
KevinSnowpaw
11 months, 1 week ago
The whole things a messy nightmare yeah DX you have an opinion I dont like! Block! your friends with the person Who ahs the opinion I don't like? *black*

those who yell how tolerant and virtuous they are from the roof tops are often just as intolerent or worse then the ones whos opinions they often oppose DX
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months, 1 week ago
It's very similar to when friends would suddenly shun their friends once they came out as gay or lesbian. It's just how they are, and they shouldn't feel punished for it. People need to open their minds and their hearts more.
KevinSnowpaw
11 months, 1 week ago
I agree... heck I have friends who are pretty politically oppasit to myself on meny issues....but we are still FRIENDS...


online especialy seems to be very "your not in my camp!" or "You dont support the current thing unconditionally" then your evil! good bye! and I think thats quite closed minded. Especially when things like politics or the current thing can change drastically
Zenobius
11 months, 1 week ago
It's sad how intolerant some people have become nowadays, to the point that if you don't subscribe to an ideology or even 'think' of talking to what they deem are 'the-wrong-people' then you might as well be a <insert-nasty-label-here>. The wildest part is that it's coming from Furries and even people who would otherwise be seen as 'outcasts' by everyone else. One would imagine they would know better but alas, here we are.

I get that some people might get iffy about fetish stuff (especially when they don't understand it) the whole idea of: "Why would anyone enjoy this?" but like you said, people here are just enjoying an idealized situation in fantasy. For example: I love drawing big meaty paws... does that mean that I then also like people's feet in real life? The answer is: No, of course not. I absolutely disgust seeing people's feet IRL. Same goes for shrinking, I enjoy it solely in the context of fantasy, being so small and becoming a mere toy for a character that I would find sexy being that big but I wouldn't want to 'actually' be shrunk IRL. it's like some people don't understand that enjoying an idea in fiction isn't the same thing as wanting to experience or doing that stuff IRL.

Yet somehow they 'can' seperate that their art of Furry animals isn't zoophilia or that their gore art isn't promoting murder but then when it comes to stuff they don't like, all of a sudden that reasoning 'conveniently' goes out the window. I've seen people on Twitter bend themselves into a pretzel to argue why Violent Videogames are 'perfectly fine' and don't lead to anything and why Fanservice in Anime 'somehow' is not and 'somehow' will lead to terrible stuff IRL... even though 'both' are fantasy and accusing some people of being the most horrible people over literal drawings. It's wild how in all these years nothing has changed and it's concerning.

It's like people pick and choose what is 'okay' in fantasy and what is not. In my humble opinion either ALL of it is okay or none of it is. I never subscribed to the idea that "X in fantasy is perfectly fine but 'somehow' Y is not" and it's especially frustrating when people accuse others with the nastiest of labels over fantasy. It just shows how narrow-minded they truly are.

Plus, fun fact: Usually the people who shout the loudest are also always the people with skeletons in their closets. Proof: https://t.co/bVXHGUiMbR , https://t.co/qNnYq6SjBV and https://twitter.com/red_devil330/status/157155553550965...

So yeah, I'm sorry to hear that you had to deal with this. *hugs*
KevinSnowpaw
11 months, 1 week ago
*hugs*


If only I could fav a comment
Zenobius
11 months, 1 week ago
*hugs you back* No problem Kevin and thanks. ;3
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months, 1 week ago
Thank you *hugs* I know I'm not the only one who has dealt with this sort of thing, and not the only one to speak out about it. I try not to judge, and I have friends who are into things I am very much not into. I only ask they extend the same courtesy to me. Is that so hard? Apparently it is for some people. You can't say (A) is okay when (B) is clearly in the same range of unacceptable behavior when taken to realistic extremes. You can dislike it and ask not to talk about it, and that's fine, but cutting all ties is a rather drastic option. It's like cutting off a limb to try and heal a scar.
Zenobius
11 months ago
You're very welcome buddy and same here, I have some friends who aren't into the stuff I draw or write about and vice-versa and we still love to talk and hang out together, talking about the stuff that we 'do' like. It's just sad when people act like this.
babybunnydiapercute
11 months ago
twitter and its league of injustice of false opinion makers, thank god I don't have an account in this place full of closed-minded judges who don't know how to think before jumping to conclusions
JacobMuken
11 months, 1 week ago
P R E A C H
JacobMuken
11 months, 1 week ago
Words can not DESCRIBE how hard people like this have made my life.
I love the line "they still reject you and eventually block you because they cannot separate fantasy from reality." YES. I had someone attack me so aggressively over not being completely against babyfur that I had to come out publicly on my own terms before he gave me a bad name. Every argument he gave was met with a thoughtful response that completely shut down his entire argument, but he wouldn't stop thrusting the same argument at me over and over and even had the audacity to tell me that "stupid people like you just refuse admit when they're wrong". Funny how I said the same thing to my community of over 200 and NObody else (non-babyfur) had a SINGLE bad thing to say about it, I even had some babies come out of the woodwork and I made a couple new friends because of this dope. His argument was that it was normalizing sexualizing kids, and could not accept that kids are not involved, that the character is just me with my adult mind but smaller.
The way you put it really puts that situation into perspective, he wasn't able to, or more likely just refused, to separate fantasy from reality, and made an unbelievable ass out of himself as a result.
BrithanyBabyfur
11 months, 1 week ago
Fence unbearable guy who was answering you like that
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months, 1 week ago
I've heard that situation happen before with others. People have a single truth they cling to, and when evidence is shown that supports they could be wrong, they either don't want to hear it or just plain ignore it. Society can't move forward that way. That's not progress.
BrithanyBabyfur
11 months, 1 week ago
These are things that do not surprise me today since every day I meet artists who have blocked me without doing anything to them, things that do not make the slightest sense
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months, 1 week ago
I've had some block me before I could even say hello, just because I'm a babyfur.
BrithanyBabyfur
11 months, 1 week ago
The same thing has happened to me just because my character is a baby cat
Jimperator
11 months, 1 week ago
The internet has changed but people have not.

The main difference I find myself coming back to from now to a decade+ ago is that everything seems to be on just a few websites these days. In the past communities were more decentralized, heck it was common once for people to just have their very own website for whatever they liked. Now you have just one profile on a platform like Twitter shared by millions, many of whom don't like you for being too different. It's simply become easier for people to shout down those they deem distasteful, and reach a larger audience while doing so, than it is to take the time to curate their online experience.
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months, 1 week ago
Yeah, and I sometimes miss those days. Good ol Geocities and such. It was also kind of a mess. lol Things are more organized and centralized now, but that also means that everyone can and often will be on the same site as you, including people you'd rather not advertise your kinks to. That's why I consider some places to be more vanilla than others. Best to keep kink stuff to kink sites.
babybunnydiapercute
11 months, 1 week ago
Yup,prejudice and bigotry is the worst of all the diseases of humanity
babybunnydiapercute
11 months, 1 week ago
I WILL NEVER NEVER FORGET THAT DAY, when I had an old Discord account, I joined an American abdl furry group and when I introduced myself, everyone laughed at me for being Brazilian and that my place is with monkeys and Indians, because they only talk to those who are from the USA and other nations and that Brazilians are not welcome in the group due to their bad culture and violence in the country and they sent me away , I thought about giving up everything 😢 and being abdl furry only in Brazil, but I remembered that I have friends in inkbunny and from other sites that like me, it doesn't matter if I'm Brazilian 🙂,
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months, 1 week ago
Well, that sure sounds like a group no one needs. I know of several Brazillian ABDLs and I think it's great. The more the merrier. ^!^
babybunnydiapercute
11 months, 1 week ago
sometimes people forget that we are all equal created by god and treat others as if they were beings from another planet, xenophobia is a sad reality in the world that needs to end.
KevinSnowpaw
11 months, 1 week ago
thats bullshit! DX nobody should treat you that way!

the only thing Brazilians have ever made worse is ragnarok online...


XD that's a little joke...you wont likely get XD but is IS a joke... you guys are great. ^^
babybunnydiapercute
11 months, 1 week ago
ok, i love jokes, and i love this group so much 😀, i never played Ragnarok at the time, but i loved spending sleepover nights with my friends playing online on the pc and laughing loudly and swearing while playing 🤣🤣🤣, good teenage times 🙂
KevinSnowpaw
11 months, 1 week ago
theres a LOT of Brazillian ragnarok online players so much so that it has a great meny private servers that cater spasificly to them XD or at least there use to be XD been a long time since I played.

the joke is a running meme through privite RO servers beocuse theres so meny BR players XD (brazillian ragnarok) that they often tend to take over the player base of even none latin speaking english servers XD and it CAN make it hard for the english players.. hense the meme of Brazillians running ranarok online. XD


cant fault them for likeing the game though XD
babybunnydiapercute
11 months, 1 week ago
yes, the game was very famous in Brazil, and it still has fans today
Taily
11 months, 1 week ago
It was better when people accepted that these kinks and fetishes and "ways of life" weren't normal. Now everything sucks and activists are trying to force everything that's abnormal to become normal "or else". I just try to stay out of things, lately. I don't want someone contacting my work one day and claiming I was being intolerant when really I just had a disagreement one time online.
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months ago
Yeah, everyone has their own thing. Like I said before, we can't help what we're into, and trying to force someone to change something like that is not easy or exactly possible.
aquabear
11 months, 1 week ago
Ozzie while I read your whole journal, its because of that exact reason why I rarely let others in. I have been burned more times than I count cept for a couple of really close friends on here. I used ot be one of those intolerant people, but now I just let people live how they want to live. But people are bullies in this world and will try and force there point of views on you. I've had more than one transgender try to push me around, one tried to make me lose my job at work, so I cut them off completely and never talked to them again.

I'm now a person who is guarded, but gives anyone a equal chance. But cross me, even once when I don't know you, I will block you. I have no tolerance for such people who like to cause me hurt or cause drama. You also know how I feel about most babyfurs with very few exceptions. You being one of them. I've gotten to know you and your very kind hearted. I have no qualms with you. But don't take it to heart when people block you over ignorant reasons. Just move on and keep those close to you you know are your friends. I know it hurts, but I've learned you can't control what others do, only what you do. If you want to talk, I'll be here on discord.
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months ago
Yeah, I understand. You and I had our differences and disagreements but we talked it out. It's a shame others can't do the same. It would be nice and the world would be a better place for sure.
SqueakyBlum
11 months, 1 week ago
It's such a common thing nowadays; everyone normalizing blocking or disowning people over small or unimportant disagreements or differences, while judging (or even pressuring) those who don't. Furry is one of the most stigmatized spaces online and this stuff is really the last thing we need, but here we are splitting hairs to give ourselves a false sense of moral superiority over each other (while the rest of the world laughs at us).

Hopefully it goes out of style someday.
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months ago
One can only hope. Everyone is different and there are those people out there, but tolerance can still be learned and applied.
SamanthaIndigo
11 months, 1 week ago
I used to be very intolerant towards babyfurs. It stemmed from my first few contacts being with a pair of unapologetic scat fetishists who kept wanting to push their kinks on others. There will always be a one off who is very loud and obnoxious that rarely represents the group they come from.

It took a long time before I was willing to give anyone a second chance. You and Tavi were amongst those that got me to change my mind on baby furs, and eventually I just hit the reset button on my main OC and dove headfirst into being a kid fur.

Got me to realize that there are some that are just happy being wee ones. Its easy to spoil your mind by seeking an echo chamber. There will always be people eager to fall on their swords and make leaps of logic to justify their actions. There will always be weirdos out there too. Amongst the furry fandom we certainly have a LOT of people who are mentally ill, but even within those numbers of mentally ill are decent people. Gotta find the diamonds in the rough. <3

We also have a common problem of people adorning this attention hungry hypersensitive personality thats becoming more and more common online. Meeting others online has become such a readily available thing that they're more than happy to torch bridges the moment they learn something new about you they dont like and like the mercurial bunch they are, will block you.

I'll take a note from Fred Rogers. Just enjoy a friend being who they are.

Anyways, glad to be friends with ya, lil' stinker. Thank you for putting up with me again.

*Slides a generous plate of peanut butter cookies over for everyone to munch on.
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months ago
Hehe, thanks! It's always nice when people get along and don't judge. It's easy to get the wrong idea based on what you first hear or experience. One bad apple can ruin the bunch, as they say. However, you will find that the bunch is much sweeter than the one. ^!^
Mvindo
11 months, 1 week ago
great journal buddy :)

my personal take on tolerance is that it has to be a two-way street

so you should never accept anyone who doesn't accept you. that's fair
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months ago
Yeah, as long as you're sure they will never accept you I guess.
kromelazarus
11 months ago
Thanks a lot Ozzie and the other know what to say. I am lucky I have people like that in my life, they know I am a babyfur but they respect me as a person, not what I like.

It's honestly mental gymnastic. But I don't want to be in the same position as them, I generally hate restrictions and high/double standard is just a very poor mindset to be in.

I really appreciate the sentiments, I really hope people turn around and does the same before it is too late. I don't want to live in a place where making friends is an equivalent of getting a job.

And I will call you as one of my friend, Ozzie. I really do appreciate our conversations together and I will do the same to keep an open mind like you are.
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months ago
You're welcome. ^!^ I think if we have anyone accepting in our lives, we should count ourselves lucky. The world would just be a much better place if we could all practice acceptance and peace.
babybunnydiapercute
11 months ago
I went to join a Brazilian group abdl furry on telegram and guess what? , I WAS BARRED BY THE SANTO MODERATOR FOR BEING BISEXUAL DL and look I'm br , the furry community is going down a path of no return if this senseless intolerance continues
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months ago
That's just wrong. :-(
babybunnydiapercute
11 months ago
Yup , love respect and tolerance make this world groups online and offline is better place 🙂
ZwolfJareAlt306
11 months ago
I hereby fave this journal!
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months ago
Thanks! ^!^
DevilKrin
11 months ago
I'm right there with you, my dude. 100%. =w=  

The basic principle is: People hear, but they do not listen. I've always tried to carry myself as non-judgmental as much as I possibly can-- I do harbor personal biases like everyone else obviously, but I try not to let that influence my opinion of a person, nor let it affect how I personally interact with someone else. Even when I don't personally like/agree with someone's preferences-- I mean it's their business and I won't tell them otherwise. You do you brother. >w>

My line in the sand was and always will be Militant--anything really. When people take things to the extreme with their ideologies and beliefs/lack thereof. When someone is trying to shove their preferences/beliefs down someone else's throats and will bastardize someone if you don't believe what they do, is typically when I have a problem with other's preferences.

And in regards to the 'guilty by association' mentality with being involved with someone another mutual person doesn't like, I typically don't want to hear someone tell me "Oh, you talk to [X]? God I hate them." Then proceed to ramble several paragraphs of why that person hates the other---or trying to convince you to dislike them too, otherwise you can't be friends with them.

I've had that happen quite a few times, and I'm like "Yeah, okay? ...And? If you don't like this person, cool---but what does that have anything to do with me?"


I swear, this time and day, people are fragile snowflakes. >.>;
OzzieKitSkunk
11 months ago
Yeah, totally. I've also had the experience of someone asking me to speak to someone on their behalf because that person has them blocked. I have to tell them no, because I don't want to get involved in that drama, then they get mad at me for not being mad at who they are mad at. Just because we are friends doesn't mean I am going to pester someone you have a grievance with. You don't ask friends to do that.
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