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Telegram Purge

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I've never actually gone through and cleaned up a bunch of chats before. I'm not in a great place right now emotionally. I don't feel close to the community here, or most communities that I am spread thin throughout. So I'm cutting back. And I'm starting in Telegram.

I'm not horny. I don't want to RP. I don't want to be flooded by the same images that the same 3 users are spamming to every chat they have ever heard of. There are a few art channels I like to watch, a few people I chat with regularly, and a couple other items here and there that make me feel good. Also less than a dozen chats and channels I try to keep an eye on for responsibilities I have taken on. Everything else can go.

...and ...done.

I'm starting to see how people "grow out" of the fandom, honestly. But I also don't have a lot of friends or support elsewhere. I just feel... Isolated. Alone. Cold. Tired.

(( This is not an invite for randos to DM me out of the blue. This is just to answer the questions that might pop up when people inevitably see the messages that I left chats. Or the people complaining I'm "distant". ))

Viewed:	228 times
Added:	7 months, 1 week ago 09 Oct 2023 03:55 CEST

19 Comments on this Journal

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CottonSocksMink

7 months, 1 week ago

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Sorry to hear, I have been wondering how you been since I saw your twit was nuked. So you doing ok?

Eiko

7 months, 1 week ago

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@ CottonSocksMink

Luckily, Twitter was just a notification channel to bring people here. Nearly all of my posts were made via Inkbunny. Everything I actually post goes to https://rodent.life/@Eiko (or my alts for https://rodent.life/@Melina and https://rodent.life/@Yumiko). If you're on Baraag or any other fediverse instance that has not defederated from rodent.life, my account should be followable. ...followable? ...words, idk.

Am I doing okay? Physically, yes. Financially, I'm hanging in there. Emotionally, not really. And I don't have a quick fix. So.. it just kind of is what it is for now.

pierogero

7 months, 1 week ago

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sorry to hear you're doing unwell, but i hope you feel better soon. nothing wrong with cutting a bit of social media and stuff out, honestly.
i know we dont chat much, but if you ever want someone to listen, you can poke me.

i hope you find a nice group that makes you feel very welcome

Eiko

7 months, 1 week ago

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@ pierogero

Thank you for the offer. As my core friend group started to age out of furry and I didn't really fit in with the younger crowd entering the space, I've used social media to spread out to other places. To find good people to chat with and rebuild some of that social structure. I'm just starting to feel like I don't really belong anywhere. And my hope is that by focusing more on the positive experiences and closer ties, I might bring my perspective to a more positive place.

caramelthecalf

7 months, 1 week ago

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anything that's too samey can get like that. I used to rp a lot, but i haven't done so in years, cause it got boring.

Eiko

7 months, 1 week ago

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@ caramelthecalf

I think for me it is less about the content getting old and more about the people in my life that didn't care about me. I existed to them as a means to get them off. I did it because, like the attention from the art I commission, it gave me a quick boost of feeling like I wasn't completely undesirable. But looking back at those chat interactions with a more clear head, a lot of those people had basically no interest in me. It's not a healthy set of interactions to surround myself with.

bagginsbandb

7 months, 1 week ago

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I don't think we have ever talked and I understand wanting to pull back and feeling like your spread to thin. I feel the same sometimes. I agree with your choice and hope it has the affect of bringing you the relief you need emotionally. I have always loved art of your character Eiko, she is adorable, but your health is more important. I hope you feel better soon.

Trep

7 months, 1 week ago

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Congrats. I went through a similar thing a few months ago.

ArionEquus

7 months, 1 week ago

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I'm sorry that we didn't grow closer the few times we spoke. You did always seem like a nice person tho. Hope things improve for you soon.

ScottySkunk

7 months, 1 week ago

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*hugs on*

Reppanyo

7 months, 1 week ago

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*Huggus*

I was never too much in "huge groups", with exceptions of the VTuber server(s) I 100% trust, those I have to co-run (as silent mod), and then there's mine.

I feel that too. I'm not always horni. (But I do appreciate fine art.) And for RPs: I don't use my OCs at all, and even now I relate, especially of how alienated I am with specific aesthetic/art interests, and is on the 'not-horni' train. T.T

I never used Telegram channels, mainly cause my social energy is much lower now compare to my younger (and sometimes cringy) self, and my interests sadly has younger folks who will not understand that fiction fantasy needs to be separate from reality in order to enjoy the finest media.

You're a good bun, and hopefully one day we can small-talk again. (I also use Telegram to arrange commissions anyway.)

- T.R.

eeveefan

7 months, 1 week ago

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*hugs* im here for you toooooo >w<
im not always chatty but im here if ya need someone to chat with.

MystBunny

7 months, 1 week ago

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For some people, RPing is the easiest way to interact with someone when communication isn't your strongest skill. That was me a long time ago as well. Main reason I don't RP today is because I'm never sure I want to invest the time in it. hehe.

I'm telling you this because I don't know what else to say. Same problem I guess, so just... well... *gropes*

SonasoAsoka

7 months, 1 week ago

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i really hope your going to be ok, i know we dont chat often but you are a important person to me and i just want you to be happy

ElisQuita

7 months, 1 week ago

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People in telegram groups sure do love to dm when the bio says to not. I'll say good riddance to them. However, you can do furry stuff and not be part of the Fandom, just being an illustrator is all you need to be. Also one knows who the true friends are,or at least does with some mutual connection. Just talk about a random day and see if they pay attention

Tweaker

7 months, 1 week ago

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Just want to say that I identify with a lot of your feelings and share them for the most part. Big part of the reason I haven't been active in the fandom as of late. It's sad, but understandable; as we age our priorities shift towards quality over quantity. We crave more substance, more fulfillment. A lot of the feelings people chase in the fandom are fleeting and compensatory and it's tough to find people who are chill, mature, respectful and are interested in just... sharing space while we each take our own paths in life, instead of being incapable of dialogue that isn't sexually charged or chasing clout.

Being horny is cool or whatever (I mean most of us are posting and consuming relatively questionable smut, right?) and I'm obviously not judging anyone for wanting to express that, but we're people, not machines. And like yeah, it's cool when when people like you online, but I've often found a lot of those people go quiet when you fall on tough times, emotionally or otherwise. And man, some people get so angry if you lose interest and take your work with you. Do the people like you, or do they just like what content you thrust into the public sphere? Really makes you think...

I think redefining your boundaries, expectations and associations is the right call. It's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way these days. I hope that solidarity brings you some comfort as well.

HighVoltage

7 months, 1 week ago

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*hugs*

strawbaby

7 months ago

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I want to say that I totally understand where you're coming from and can deeply relate. ;w; I've been in the perpetual state of "Should I leave or stay?" since about last year. I love furry art but the normalization of disrespecting/lacking boundaries here has taken a toll on me.. it's like, the moment I think I've made a new friend it quickly turns out they only want a fuck buddy.

Whatever you choose we will always support you! After cleaning up my socials and blocking stinky people I've been sooo much happier. ^^