The knowledge of having ADHD has already improved lots of stuff. So I'm feeling optimistic and wanna attempt what until recently seemed impossible: Making some speculations about my future creative path.
1. Much less yiff. Now that I know I have ADHD I realize I've often drawn yiff mainly because sexual stuff is a good dopamine source for me. So it has often been the only thing I had enough motivation to draw. Of course I have drawn yiff for many other reasons as well. But now - even without yet getting therapy and meds - I am getting better at developing strategies to be motivated for the stuff I actually want to draw the most. Which, most of the time, isn't yiff. Drawing yiff set within a larger narrative would be pawsome, but for the foreseeable future I believe yiff like the one I have drawn doesn't interest me that much anymore. Like, I've had enough practice of anatomy for a while and wanna focus more on stuff that's more closely relevant for the type sequential art I'm interested in, which likely isn't focused on yiff (although it might contain yiff).
2. Much more focus on (longer) stories. I have about 200 pages of worldbuilding in a digital document as well as many filled pages in an analogue book: https://www.amazon.com/Only-World-Building-Workbook-You... (which is an okay book, but I wish it had less focus on boring military stuff and instead e.g. a section about flora)
I know that all the worldbuilding notes may be of interest to people with queer identities similar to mine, but sharing work in progress can decrease my motivation to finish it. There is definitely one big project that I'm aiming to complete by the end of February or earlier. I know now that deadlines are helpful because it's not stress but a lack of dopamine that's the reason for my problems with motivation. That's the key realization in terms of motivation for me I think. And mentioning a deadline to others likely helps to make the deadline more efficient for me. The project is based on some of the worldbuilding stuff. About 80% of it was finished in March, the remaining 20% seemed impossible to find the motivation for. But I recently started working on it again with the help of some ADHD strategies for motivation. For example structuring all that is left to do into small pieces and then doing one small piece of it every day. And whenever I get stuck working on one piece I remind myself that the reason is probably that I need to separate the piece into even smaller pieces first.
3. After this big project is finished, I might focus on a short animation project for YouTube. Something to see how my art is perceived by a broader audience. The focus would likely be on quality rather than video length. Fifteen seconds at most I assume. I assume this project is going to take at least a few months. Though who knows what my productivity is going to be, especially once I get therapy and meds. If the project gets me an audience that's bigger than I have on Inkbunny, I might decide to make more of such projects. I wouldn't announce my project on Inkbunny (other than now in this vague way), nor mention my Inkbunny account on YouTube, but I expect sooner or later someone is going to find out in some way. I mean, I don't know how recognizable my art style is. At least to me it seems still quite derivative in many aspects, so that might help to prevent it being recognizable. But if people find out I expect it to be a potentially interesting situation. The most boring result of which I assume would be YouTube deleting my account. Which I feel is possible but not that likely. So I'd like to see what happens when an audience of let's say a thousand subscribers (if I'm lucky and my animation gets me that many fans) finds out that I'm also on Inkbunny and am "too queer" for them. If many of them don't really react negatively, then I might continue posting animations on YouTube with obviously much more subtle queer stuff than e.g. I have on Inkbunny. But I'd also continue to occasionally post stuff on Inkbunny or wherever else I can post stuff that's too queer for YouTube. If the reactions are like 99% negative or YouTube deletes my account, then I'd have to either focus exclusively on Inkbunny or make a new YouTube channel and come up with ways to be more sneaky :3
