What's up fuzzbuttz?! x3
I realize journals are something most people don't partake in. They're normally utilized by artists to give details in relation to their queues, or people to convey whatever life event is happening at the time. This one is something of both I'd say? I'm not really sure how to go about conveying any of what I wanna say or do, yet want to know other's take on various topics. While I appreciate the input of my loved ones, sometimes its good to get the perspective of others, especially those who view and follow your work.
To best narrate this, I'm gonna break things down into sections. It helps me to keep focus, because I'm an ADHD/OCD riddled millennial who needs organization in his daily life or he has a full blown panic attack (Don't worry, I'm only half joking).
COMMISSIONS
Commissions are something I've always had a weird relationship with. I find I never really had spots to open, I've tried once or twice but usually what happens is I'll have people contact me and ask for art. We'll go through the normal processes and suddenly I have a queue. By the time I get to the end of said queue I usually have people contacting me asking if I'm open. I've never really had 'slots' that are open per se, my commissions have just been perpetually open. I never minded too much, steady income and all that, but I did find myself wanting to create stuff for myself sometimes. However, whenever I'd take a break to do such, I had that lingering thought of "this isn't going to make you money". Then I'd stop to go back to my commission work, which then began the cycle of 'commission - burn out - personal work - self doubt - commission' again.
As of right now I have one commission in queue. Its the first time in about 3 years where somebody hasn't contacted me to ask if I'm open as I'm wrapping up, which is both good (I can work on personal stuff) and bad (oh no, less money), which leaves me feeling awash. I always have something I can work on, my sketch folder has stuff dating back half a decade full of unfinished projects, but that cycle always threatens to come back. Being the kind of person who has trouble sitting still/relaxing its difficult to make myself work on something if I'm not being compensated. Not that money and views are the most important thing, but they do hold value and in the world as it is that means something. I also feel a sense of satisfaction when people give my art attention, I'm so hyper critical of my own work one of the things that makes it worthwhile is knowing others appreciate it.
Moving forward, I plan on going the route of opening slots. The open availability format works, as does having a waiting list, but those also invite undue stress.
ADVERTISING
Advertising has never been my strong point. I personally get annoyed anytime I see or hear the following: Like, comment, subscribe. Follow and re-post for a chance to enter. Consider checking out my Patreon. Buy me a coffee. Which is odd because I realize this is others promoting themselves, its a way of garnering attention and helping one's business grow. There's nothing wrong with it, yet I can't help but feel that primal annoyance unleashed by puberty spark up every time any of this is mentioned. Which is why I myself rarely do it, and the few times I have I feel so ashamed and embarrassed I not only hid such references in the bottom of my descriptions, I outright stopped doing it after a few weeks.
I don't like feeling like something is being forced on me, and when I see something regurgitated all the time that's what it feels like. Thus I try not to do it myself, because if I can't stomach this kind of advertisement, how can I subject others to it? Which again, is at odds with this day and age because that's primarily how you get noticed. Its an easier and fluid way of garnering attention and support, but the other side is it can backfire. I actually made a Ko-Fi, hoping to use it to test the waters for branching into sites like Patreon, SubscribeStar, and the like. My idea was to give out hi-resolution images of stuff for those who donated, and if that worked I could move forward.
Nobody ever noticed, though. Part of it could be that I didn't advertise as well as I could have (as stated, I didn't make a big deal of it) but I did make something of an effort. Even posted a few notices asking for opinions across some of my social media to see what others thought, so there was SOME attempt made. I've had it a year and I haven't seen any interest which is honestly quite crushing. That's the reason I don't stream anymore; People stopped coming or lost interest. Not only that, nobody told me why. I don't receive much feedback outside of the occasional "Oh, that's so hot!" which, while nice, doesn't tell me much other than people jack off to my art (which is hot btw, keep that up).
Its looking like I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and really start trying to plug my stuff. I don't wanna be annoying with it, but pride can be as much a hinderance as a help.
PROJECTS
Projects of various types are something I've been wanting to dip into here and there. I keep being told I need to work on comics, which I think is fun but I know the work involved. I've tackled a few way back when, and I don't think I've EVER burnt out faster on anything than I did with comics. I have mad respect *cough*envy*cough* for people who can pump those suckers out (if you know, you know). Though one format I DO enjoy are image packs, specifically ones that offer a variety of characters in different states of attire or poses.
Admittedly I get annoyed by packs that take one image and just alter it to be 20 variations. Annoyed because, while its a tad lazy, there's more to it than I initially thought. I gave it a go just to see and found I actually enjoyed myself. It was fun drawing a character I liked, even moreso putting him in a kinky situation and tossing different attire on him. Not only that, it garnered a bit of success and from that I realized there was more to this than what I thought. After that I rolled my eyes less at these and started appreciating them more, now I want to make them too.
However, as stated above, money makes the world go round. I have fun with this kind of thing, and whilst I do hope to make that the main point for my art (a sight I'm sure many lose now and again), my bills still need paid. My hope is to create image packs to promote, as well as start drawing characters people - and myself - like in general. Hopefully everyone will enjoy that, and if I'm lucky I can segway into the other points listed above. Raccoons gotta eat after all.
OTHER
I wasn't sure how to tackle this one, so I'll lay it here. I enjoy editorial work; I used to be an avid role player and still dabble in it today. Specifically sentence structure and how words flow together, its something that's always fascinated me yet I never looked into it. I think it'd be fun to work on writing/fixing up dialogue in comics, checking over novels, working on written works and the like. I have no idea how I'd even begin to go about that, but its something I'd like to take a crack at sometime.
Similarly is audio work. I'm not fond of my voice, but I'd told I'm good at reading stories. Something about my vocal tone seems to make me easy to listen to, and I've been recommended looking into Audible more than once. An idea I had was making a YouTube channel or podcast where I read stories submitted to me; I LOVE those kinds of videos and think it'd be fun to try. Again though, no idea how to begin looking into that, though, or if anybody would actually be interested if I did.
CLOSING
I greatly appreciate the time anybody took reading this. I'm always open to feedback, even if this did get rambl-y. Already feeling better having done this, thank you for your time all~ :3
