I figured I give more info on things. My dulcimer is going to stay in my house where it can be kept in better hummidity. I realize with such a big project it will take time to build and do so effectively. Not to mention avoiding burnout like I had.
I also been facing anxiety due to an uptick of activity at my store. I feel like its improved recently. Part of me wonders if the community noticed my hardships. Even if this is coincidental with Christmas nearing I rather focus on it instead of my anxiety. Its a shame how people can act like Christmas is a time for joy. Then turn around and treat resterant and grocery store workers like trash.
Current Winter Project
I had been studying electronics during winter seasons. Fall season should be focussed on polishing line art on my light table. Though I really should be sketching daily. Needless to say... My synthesizer project has been my focus recently. Especially since my mentor has been working with me on disassmbly and reassembly.
Keep in mind most of this is what ever comes into the shop for repair. Though I am making recomendations on what should be worked on. So far I have not been told to put anything back that I fix. Last item was a keyboard. Well... A lot of key boards have been showing up. Which is what I preffer to work on. Mind you, if I start getting paid I won't complain about cleaning and fixing amplifiers.
I recently found a keyboard on eBay of my favorite brand. I waited a bit till I got paid "janitorial" and then I got it. However it was poorly packaged and arrived with loose plastic pieces. Everything seems to work. At least as expected with no voice. Via its a midi controller with 16 knobs, volume control, and the typical modulation/pitchbend.
So, I am deciding on doing like LMNC. Having proects all listed, but rotating on them on circumstance. Sam had the Gamebow megamachine as a back burner project. A sort of slow project with his free time. Then he focussed on creating content such as a diy synth module tutorial every month.
In January I will make a final decission on how I want to do things. For now I have to get through the holiday rush of my janitorial job.
My Faith Based arts
I struggled to keep going to Church. Recently its come to a halt. I work week ends and with the holiday madness I just can't overcome my social anxeity and go to Church. I will try again possibly January.
When under a great deal of anxiety I tend to use my autistic pacifeirs. Basically because I clamp my jaw at the end of a hard day. I even do this at the beginning of a day when I know its going to be difficult. So, I use what I call an autistic pacifier. I think I may have mentionned it before. Maybe even in great detail.
So, its been a while since I last felt the need. Yet, recently I started using them again. Though I was rather happy Pacifier Addict had a Black Friday deal on their butterflies. Made my day considering I had wanted one for a while. Basically I will use a large gauge during my wake hours. Then going to bed I use a number 7 from Pacifiers R Us. The idea being something to remind me not to clamp down to hard. When I do its soft enough to stim with.
Then at night the ortho size feels much smaller and managable. I can fall asleep with it and not have any problems. I really don't know how or why, but it helps a great deal. I never found a sleep med to work without my autistic pacifier when it came to severe anxiety. There is just something about the bulb and stimming this way that helps me not worry so much.
With all this mentioned though... I am still looking for ways to deal with anxiety. One is pressing my tongue to the roof of my mouth, but this too hurts after a while. Obviosly having a pacifier is unrealistic out in the open. At least in close proximity to people. I used to walk the sidewalks with it. Though I could use it while driving. It be about the same thing.
In the end... I have to find a reasonable compromise.
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6 months ago
11 Dec 2023 08:05 CET
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