The Angel of Yiff Chapter 8 --
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Matt sat quietly at the dinner table, slowly munching on the pseudo-Italian chicken dinner that Chris had made, unable to keep his eyes off of the stain on Luke's muzzle. Chris, meanwhile, bit into a piece of bread and chewed slowly, eyeing the white lines on the back of his son's shirt.
After a moment, Riddick, who was facing away from the table giving Sirrus and Rei their food, since they preferred to eat on the floor, now, turned around to the table and sat down. Feeling like he was being stared at by his father, he smiled coyly, ``So, dad, how's your day been?''
Chris swallowed, cocking an eyebrow, ``My day was fine...how about yours?'' He paused for a long moment, ``Do anything interesting?''
Luke blushed more so than he had been, and sank lower in his chair, gulping as he cut into a small piece of chicken.
Riddick, though, just sat up nice and straight with a smile, ``Not that I can think of! Hmmm...'' He scratched his chin with his, as-of-yet unused fork, ``Nope! Can't seem to think of anything.''
Matt hadn't taken his eyes off of Luke's muzzle, ``You're sure about that?''
Chris leaned over the table a little, looking at his son sitting across and to his left, ``Yeah, you sure?'' He cocked an eyebrow.
``Hmm?'' Riddick looked over at the raccoon to his side like he had no clue what Matt was looking at, ``Oh, hun! You've got a spot of something on your muzzle. Lean over here, for a sec.''
Luke blinked and blushed more, leaning over, partially because he was pulled by his boyfriend.
Riddick put his paw on the back of the raccoon's head, leaning in close and kissing the side of his muzzle. It looked just like a passionate French kiss, except that it was just off center: his rough tongue running across and doing more to rewet than to clean the spot of matted fur. He smiled and leaned back, leaving the `coon wide eyed and red.
``There we go!'' The panthion exclaimed, ``I think that got it.''
Chris coughed and blinked, shaking his head, ``We're supposed to be eating my chicken not-'' He stopped and sighed, ``...err...never mind.''
Riddick smiled an evil little grin as he finally started eating his food, ``Not what, Dad?''
Matt took a drink of his wine, which he insisted on drinking with anything even vaguely Italian, ``You know what? That's it! Tonight, I'm not cleaning myself off, and we'll see how you two like me wandering the house stained all Sunday!''
Luke perked up just a little and looked over at Chris as he thought about that for a moment, but then looked back down at his plate quickly.
Chris glared at Matt, ``Hey! I don't get it all over-'' He stopped himself again, looking wide eyed and blushing, himself, ``Never mind.''
Riddick laughed aloud as he woofed down the pesto rigatoni, ``If you don't want him stained, you can always...'' The black cat licked his fork VERY slowly while looking at his dad, ``...clean him off yourself, can't you?''
Chris blinked as his mouth hung open a bit, ``Riddick!''
``Holy hell, boy...'' Matt raised an eyebrow at the Panthion.
Luke coughed and sank down into his chair, now virtually lying in it, eye level with the table.
Riddick looked around at the three of them, laughing heartily again, ``What? We all know what the six of us do around here EVERY night, but I can't talk about it?''
``There should be SOME limit to how much, though.'' Matt pointed at the panthion with his fork.
``Yeah!'' Chris did the same, ``Like pantomiming your father licking...'' He narrowed his eyes, ``...stuff.''
Riddick laughed again at his father's third desperate attempt to guard his words. He turned to his side, though and looked at Luke. The raccoon was still sunk down in his chair, and Riddick leaned over, kissing him on the top of the head, ``I'm sorry, hun. I'm embarrassing you. I'll stop, okay?'' He gently lifted his boyfriend to sit up straight again.
Luke just mumbled incoherently and poked at his chicken, while Riddick brushed his `coon's hair, looking genuinely sorry for putting him through that.
Matt smiled at the two of them, and then over at Chris, too, ``Kinda' sweet, isn't it?''
``I suppose,'' Chris chuckled and shook his head, ``but then I've never really been one for the `sweet' thing.''
Riddick looked down at now nearly empty plate, ``I think I'm about done. How about you, Luke?''
Luke nodded and smiled at Chris, ``Thanks! It was really good, like always.''
Chris smiled back and chuckled, ``No problem.''
Riddick stood up, ``Tonight is your night to help with the dishes, hun. I'll go change my shirt, get a movie or something out, and get the room all ready for us to watch it before bed, okay?''
Luke nodded and picked up his and Riddick's plates before moving into the kitchen, while Riddick slipped his shirt off as he wandered off to their bedroom.
Matt stood up too, ``I'll get the other dishes into the kitchen to Luke.''
Chris nodded and stretched back in his seat, yawning, ``Okay.'' He grinned, ``Damn, whoever made that was an artist! He should get paid! Oh wait, it was me!'' He looked over at Matt, still grinning, ``I guess that means you get to pay me now.''
The ottercoon smiled back, ``I already paid you last night! And Thursday night...and earlier today before work! But I guess for a meal like this you could never be paid too much...'' He leaned over and kissed the lion on the cheek.
Chris laughed and stuck his tongue out, playfully.
Matt scratched the back of his neck, never able to keep things like this off of his mind, and then looked back at the big cat, ``Uhm, Chris, I've been meaning to talk to you about something.''
The lion looked up with nod, ``Sure thing. Shoot!''
``Well, about the day before yesterday, when Lance was here...''
``He hasn't shown back up, has he?''
``Oh, no.'' Matt shook his head, ``I haven't gotten so much as a call or an email since he stormed out of here.''
``And that was great, wasn't it?'' Chris laughed, ``What I wouldn't have given for one of the kids to have been in here filming it on their new cell phones! Just the one time, getting to watch how shocked he was when I told him we were together...and then how pissed off he got when he realized, with me in the way, he wasn't gonna' get a chance to milk you again...'' He sighed wistfully, ``It was priceless! I could watch it a hundred times over again!''
``Really?'' The ottercoon raised an eyebrow and smirked, ``I would've thought you'd be disappointed, because you didn't get to physically THROW him out, yourself!''
``Nah.'' Chris shook his head, ``Would have been fun, but I was just happy he was gone.''
Matt got quiet again, looking down at his feet for a moment before looking back up with a contented smile, ``I never did get to tell you how much I appreciated it, you know?'' His smile grew as he amended himself, ``...what you said?''
``You didn't need to tell me!'' The lion shot the ottercoon a mocking stare, ``I don't remember the last time you looked so happy. I honestly think that THAT pissed him off more than anything.''
Matt laughed, ``You're probably right about that. I didn't realize I was so transparent, though.''
``It's rare for you, but yeah...'' Chris smiled softer and nodded, ``...you absolutely lit up when I told him we were together.''
The ottercoon flattened his ears and blushed, defending himself in embarrassment, ``I did not!'' He knew it was true, though. He'd wanted Chris to finally be more than a friend for months now, and actually hearing it from the lion's mouth Thursday was overwhelming. He actually remembered his face hurting at one point because he was smiling so much.
``Like a bulb!'' Chris countered, ``But who could blame you? It was pretty clear how uncomfortable you were with him being here.''
How uncomfortable he was with Lance here? Did Chris think that was why he was happy: having: Lance gone? ``I was, yeah, but-'' Matt was about to tell correct Chris, and tell him that that WASN'T why he was happy...
...but the lion cut him off, ``Seriously, Matt: it's okay. You don't have to thank me for getting rid of him. I didn't want him here, hitting on you, either.''
Matt just blinked, ``You didn't?'' But the question was: WHY didn't Chris want him there?
``Of course not!'' Chris threw up his paws in disbelief Matt would even ask that, ``You know how I feel about him. I don't even want you two being friends!''
``Not even friends?'' The ottercoon decided to take that opportunity to probe, to see if Chris was jealous, ``Why? Worried he and I might get a little...TOO friendly?''
``No.'' Chris didn't even hesitate, ``I'm worried he'll hurt you, again...or maybe even flat out steal from you, this time. And I'm not just gonna' sit back and let that shit happen.'' He stood up finally and approached Matt, putting a paw on his shoulder, ``I know we're not in high school anymore, but I don't care how old you are. You're still my best friend, and I've gotta' look out for you.''
Best friend. Matt felt like he'd been slapped with the words, but he kept a smile on his face as he looked back at Chris, ``Thanks...'' He tried to keep his hope. It sounded like Chris was only trying to help him. It sounded like he didn't mean what he'd said. But he hadn't actually SAID he didn't mean it, so maybe Matt was just taking everything wrong.
``But, you know? I was actually worried you'd want an apology from me.'' The lion moved his paw and tilted his head, ``No matter the good intentions, I felt like I might've stuck my nose where it didn't belong...like I'm apt to do.''
``Not at all!'' Matt chirped immediately.
``It's good that you think so.'' Chris smiled and nodded, ``Cause I'm pretty sure me telling him we were together was the only thing that was gonna' get him to give up on you.''
The ottercoon consciously stopped himself from recoiling at that, ``Yeah...'' His hope was fading quickly, but he forced a small chuckle as he continued, and fished, again, for anything that might make this sound better, ``No way he'd try and pursue me so long as he thinks we're together.'' He picked `thinks' intentionally, hoping Chris would argue, ``No way he'd risk you beating the shit out of him, right?''
Chris, though, just grinned proudly and cracked his knuckles, ``Yep! That was the idea!''
Matt felt like he'd been hit by a car, but did his best to hide it, ``That it was.'' He turned to the table and started to stack the plates that were left, but he was really just trying to avert his eyes in case, again, he was being too transparent.
``Funny...'' The lion looked up at the ceiling, scratching his chin, ``I seem to remember doing this for you back in high school, once, too: got rid of some little fem-boy you didn't like.''
And it wasn't the truth then, either, ``Yeah...I remember that too.'' Matt paused in his stacking, but only for a moment, not wanting his...friend...to see how much that comparison hurt.
Chris cocked an ear and tilted his head, ``Something wrong Matt?'' He was more observant than Matt expected.
The ottercoon looked up as he picked up the dishes, forcing the widest fake smile he could manage, ``Not at all Chris. Nothing's wrong. You head on. I'll help Luke with the dishes and be out there later, okay?''
Chris eyed Matt for a second, and then nodded, ``Alright.''
Dishes in paw, Matt walked on past the lion, avoiding eye contact, but trying not to make it obvious that he was. Once into the kitchen, he silently make his way over to Luke at the sink, and sat the dishes down on the counter.
Luke smiled as he washed a large pot, his earlier blush still not completely faded, ``Hey'a Matt!''
``Hey...'' The ottercoon leaned against the counter by the dishes, ``...I guess I'm drying, tonight?''
Luke nodded and picked up a glass, his ears flattening, ``Something wrong, Matt?''
Matt didn't venture any sort of a response. He just closed his eyes, trying not to show any signs that he was close to tears, but failing miserably.
``Matt?'' The raccoon returned the glass to the sink, turning slowly.
Matt opened his eyes, already red and watery, and then opened his mouth to speak, but in trying to do so he broke the last of his composure. He shivered and closed his eyes, again, rocking with a soft sob as his first few tears rolled out of each eye.
Luke froze and hesitated for a moment, not sure what to do, or even what to say. This wasn't the first time, this week, that he'd seen Matt cry. He'd seen it just before Lance showed up, too, ``Matt...what's wrong?''
``I...I thought...'' The ottercoon took a deep breath and tried to steady himself, ``I mean, I felt like everything was...''
Luke wiped his hands and slowly moved to sit on a stool at the counter, looking up and over at Matt, ``Is...I don't know what's wrong but...is there anything I can do to help?''
Matt pulled up a stool too. He wasn't used to having any one to go to with his own problems, but Luke had already seen him like this once, and he wasn't going to turn down the help, ``Just...promise me you won't say anything, okay? Not even to Riddick: I don't want this getting back to Chris...''
The raccoon just blinked and nodded a little as the older fur continued.
``I love him.'' Matt didn't hesitate, simply diving in and letting it spill out. Perhaps he'd intended to say less, to say it calmer, or explain himself better, but once he opened his muzzle, it all just spilled out. Once he finally let himself talk, he didn't' stop, ``I love him so much! I don't know why, I don't know what caused it, but...damn-it...I do. I've been so fucking lonely...for...for like 3 years, now. But now that HE'S here, I...'' He shuddered and slowed down, but only a bit, ``I loved Lance, y'know? I loved him, I supported him, I took care of him, and he cheated on me. For two years, after he left -- TWO YEARS -- I was completely alone. I came back to this empty house, night after night, lucky to even get a quick fuck out of anyone. The happiest I ever was, was when I bought Sirrus...'' He wiped off what dampness was left on his face, and cracked the smallest of smiles, ``...that is...until Chris showed back up.''
Luke just stared at Matt as he spoke, not sure who he was talking about, who he `loved,' until he finally mentioned Chris's name, ``Chris? You mean you love Chris?''
The ottercoon nodded & looked up, ``You know how it feels. You love Riddick, right?''
``I...'' Luke paused, legitimately confused, but just answering his question for now, ``Yeah. I do.''
``Make sure you tell him often. Make sure he knows...'' Matt put a paw on his forehead and went on, ``Lance and I...'' He paused. This was the second time he mentioned the name, and he wasn't sure if Luke knew who he meant, ``You remember him from the other day, right?''
``Yeah.'' The raccoon nodded.
``I was with him for a long time: better part of two years. But after he left me, I was alone for even longer. And I can't stand being alone like that...I just can't. That's why I got Sirrus.'' Matt chuckled slightly, ``I even THOUGHT I loved Sirrus for a little while, too. But it was lie. At the end of the day, he was nothing but a living, breathing security blanket...just something to make this house a little less empty.'' He looked up suddenly, realizing how bad that sounded, ``N-not that I don't love the little guy! I do, but it's not the same. It's like...'' He looked Luke in the eye, ``Like how I love you and Riddick.''
Luke blushed at the directness. He wanted to thank Matt, and tell him he loved him back. After all, the ottercoon had been a better parent to him over the last couple of months than his real ones had in a long while, ``It's okay, Matt,'' but instead, he comforted the elder fur, ``I understand. It's okay.''
The ottercoon looked back down again, ``But I love Chris. I REALLY love him. More than I ever loved Lance, or ever thought I loved Sirrus.''
``Wait.'' Luke stopped him.
Matt looked back up, ``Hmm?''
``I don't understand.'' The raccoon rubbed the back of his neck, ``I mean...I do. I get what you mean by most of this but...but what's the problem? So you love Chris: why is that a bad thing? Aren't you two a couple?''
Matt stared back at the boy. He hadn't expected that response. He didn't think Luke would think they were together, ``...no, kid. We're not.''
``But...'' Luke furrowed his brow in thought, ``You live together, you share a bed, and you, him, and Riddick...all three of you talk like you're Riddick's second dad. I...I just thought...''
The ottercoon shook his head and took a deep breath, ``I wish you were right, but he doesn't see me as anything but a roommate: a friend.'' He closed his eyes and clenched his paws, ``And...it hurts so goddamned bad! I want to be with him. I want to be...his! And all he wants is a friend with benefits!''
Luke flattened his ears and ran a paw along the countertop, ``Well...have you told him yet?''
Matt paused, knowing that anyone else would think he should have spoken up long ago, ``No...''
``Well, then how do you know?'' The raccoon smiled hopefully, ``Cause, I mean: like with me and Riddick, right? We loved each other...but it just took us a long time to say it. Maybe that's how it is with you two, too. You haven't said it yet, so maybe he just hasn't, either.''
Matt shook his head, ``No...'' He looked toward the dining room door, ``Chris...the night Lance was here...he said that he and I were together. It made me so happy. I thought things were about to finally be looking up for me: for us. But just now, in the dining room...he all but outright said he didn't mean it. He said he only said it to help me get rid of Lance...''
Luke flattened his ears again, ``Oh...'' He paused for a minute, ``Well, maybe he only said that because...err...I mean, said what he said, just now...'' He paused again and closed his eyes, trying to make sure he said everything right, ``Maybe he just thinks that YOU only want to be friends. Like I said: that's what happened with me and Riddick.''
The ottercoon looked down, ``I really doubt it Luke...and I can't risk asking him, either. If I'm right and you're wrong, then it'll only make him uncomfortable around me. He might not even want us to continue what little we DO have together.'' He sighed, ``This may be a little...too much information, but, you get that I'm a...uhm, a dom...a top, right?''
Luke blushed at that, reminded of various images he'd had of the ottercoon, ``I...assumed?''
``Well I've raised tail for him...more than once: A LOT more than once. And that's something I don't just give away.'' Matt ran his paws through his headfur, ``I'd do anything for him: anything just to have what time we have together: the times when I feel important to him...when I feel needed. I can't lose him now: having him in my bed, in my arms...inside of me...even just what little get.''
The raccoon shuffled his feet, not having expected Matt to be so open with him, but liking it...feeling almost honored by it, ``I get what you're saying.''
Matt leaned back and looked up at ceiling. He considered for a moment that it was some natural defense against crying, a subconscious thought like: maybe gravity could keep the tears in, ``Besides, if things went wrong...don't even have my security blanket anymore, Luke. I don't have Sirrus like I used to. I...I neglected him for so long, and now he's happy. He's with Rei. So I...I wouldn't just be losing Chris, y'know? I'd be alone again.''
Luke stayed quiet and looked down, then looked back up with a confident smile, ``You have me.''
``No,'' the ottercoon laughed, ``Riddick has you.''
Luke's eyes widened and he blushed, realizing how that sounded, ``No...no. I didn't mean like that. I meant-''
``I know.'' Matt smiled softly, though sniffling, ``I know what you meant. I guess I'm focusing too much on the fear of an empty bed, huh? I mean...it's not like I'd be completely alone. I have you.'' He nodded and smiled, reaching over and putting a paw on Luke's knee, ``I have a whole weird little family, here, even: you, Riddick, Chris, Sirrus, and Rei...even Alex, and Jasyn.''
The raccoon nodded and smiled at that, putting his paw atop Matt's, and repeating something Riddick had said to him back in August, ``And better than a normal family: a family we chose!''
``Much better!'' Matt squeezed the boy's knee, ``I just...'' He sighed again, ``I just wish Chris could be more.''
Luke hesitated for a moment, then hopped off the stool and stepped over to Matt, ``It'll be okay, Matt.'' He wrapped his arms around the older fur, leaning in and even nuzzling affectionately against his neck.
The ottercoon blinked, not having expected that at all. But he wrapped his arms around the boy, too, nuzzling back in return, and closing his eyes, ``Thank you, Luke.'' He smiled and squeezed the raccoon tight, ``I hope it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable to hear, but I love you. It's how I always imagined I'd feel about...a son.''
``Not uncomfortable with that, at all.'' Luke shook his head and rested it on Matt's shoulder, ``I love you too, Matt.''
Matt gently pushed the boy off of him and smiled, kissing him softly on the forehead, ``Say, uhm...how about we keep that last bit under wraps too, though, okay? I don't need to give Chris any more ammo to say that I'm your & Riddick's `mother.' Deal?'' He chuckled.
The raccoon chuckled back with a smile, ``Sure thing...Dad.''
Matt smiled his widest at that, and patted his `son' on the head as he stood up, ``Now. What'say we go ahead and get these dishes cleaned? Your boyfriend's waiting on you...''
