Enchanting Tails and how to get them
What's the best tail enhancement to grab a fox's attention? I tried out five to save you the effort.
By: Magenta Cyberfox
What's the one thing a vixen has that's undeniably better than anything anyone else has? Our tails! I know it, you know it. With a single swish of our tails, we can draw any man's gaze. But what if we could make them even better? Not just alluring but completely irresistible. That's the thinking behind a number of tail enhancement trends that have been sweeping the clubs recently. I set off to test how well they work and tell you which ones are worth it and which ones you shouldn't waste your money on. As always the best ones get a yip, average ones earn a yaff and the worst ones are a definite growf!
Sleek & Shiny Tail Shampoo (€30)
Yip!
I know what you're thinking, "It's just a shampoo, how can it possible compete with all these other enhancements!" I thought the same thing. And it's true, it's just a shampoo (a very expensive one though) but it works!
It is only meant for your tail and can be applied both wet and dry. The best method of application is massaging it into your tail dry then brushing the fur clean. I did it dry and I was amazed at how much softer and shinier my tail looked. It felt great and looked even better.
The shampoo is also lightly scented with something resembling a vixen's natural scent. I barely noticed it but when I was around I could see all the male fox's nose twitching madly until they got used to it. I asked my co-worker what he thought of it and he said it was very subtle, just barely consciously noticeable but he couldn't help but feel that something good was around. If you're looking to get the attentions of another vixen, then this might not be the one for you but it certainly earns a yip from me!
Mystical Sparkle Tail Glitter (€23)
Growf!
The next product I tried was Mystical Sparkle Tail Glitter which claims it will "bring out the kitsune in you." They recommended application in one of two ways, either a light dusting just over the tail (or your full body) or brushing back your tail fur to apply the glitter deeper. The latter treatment is supposed to last much longer and, because of the greater volume, can even leave a magical trail. Because I want to do my best for you, I went deep!
I only intended to apply the glitter to my tail but it turns out, holding brushing your fur back while applying glitter is not nearly as easy as they make it sound in the instructions. My first mistake was to apply it while sitting on my bed. By the end it looked kind of how I imagine the pavement would look if Tinkerbell suddenly forgot how to fly from pretty high up. My forepaws were also thoroughly glittered but I managed to wash that off before heading to work.
In the light my tail looked absolutely beautiful! It was sparkling and shining with step I took. And, because I had done the deep treatment, every swish of my tail left a trail of sparkles shimmering in the air. A €15 cleaning fee and one star from my ride share quickly pointed out the biggest problem with tail glitter; it gets everywhere! I half considered pulling a plastic bag over my tail during the day but settled for just sitting on a towel and trying to hold as still as I could.
In order to avoid any further problems with my ride share, I decided to take the tram home. That didn't quite go as planned either. The tail glitter did help me catch someone's attention; a ruffled raccoon businessman who had clearly seen better days and had been drinking enough that he was comfortable enough to spend the entire ride describing how his wife and caught him at a strip club after finding glitter on him, how much I reminded him of the stripper and how he just wished he could get either of them to love him. Thanks raccoon man, you've definitely brought this a growf!
Kitten Bell (€15)
Yaff!
The kitten bell is far more common to our feline friends but has been gaining some popularity among the fox population. For those of you who have been living under a log and never seen one, they are oversized bells on a collar which is either worn around the neck or the tail. We foxes are certainly more on the wild side than those little pussy cats, so it was never going to be anything other than the tail for me.
I've seen a few cats with the bell on near the end of their tail but that didn't quite work for me. If you've got a sad, stringy tail it might work. Us foxes, we've got a nice, puffy brush which gives the bell a tendency to slip right off. After picking it up for what felt like the tenth time in just as many steps, I strapped it to the base of my tail with the bell on top. That worked much better with all my fluff keeping it securely in place all day long.
Whether it makes your tail more attractive, I can't say. It will certainly get you attention though as I found it almost impossible to move quietly. Each step caused a metallic chime which drew everyone's attention. Over time it faded into the background for me and, unless I leaned backwards, I actually forgot I was wearing it. It certainly nothing spectacular but it might work for some looks or to bring more focus to you.
Tail Ribbons (€8,50)
Growf!
By far the cheapest of the options was the tail ribbons. I got a bag of light blue ribbons to complement my coat and get the best effect. Putting them in was a nightmare and took forever! Each ribbon has to be attached individually and you need a decent number of them unless you want to look a drowned rat. They do come with elastic attachments but you've still got to work each one under your fur, attach it and then smooth the fur over it to make it look as though the ribbons are natural.
Even once it's done, the problems don't stop! The ribbons are long enough to flow with you tail but if you stop for just a moment they sink down and start to drag along the ground, transferring all the dirt into your fur the minute you move again. Maybe they work better as indoor-only accessories or maybe you could just hold your tail up all day but I am not that kind of vixen! The ribbons are cheap but you get what you pay for. Unless you want to look cheap as well, join me in saying growf and give these a pass.
Luscious Vixen Tail Extension (€45)
Yip!
This was the most expensive of the accessories and there are even more expensive professional versions; I took a home kit. You're going to have to put a lot of work into this one. First you need to find a matching fur colour. Then you need to set aside a couple of hours to carefully glue the extensions into your tail to make it bigger and longer. Luckily their guide is extremely helpful! Don't worry about the glue, there's a removal formula for whenever you need to remove them.
Once they were in, the effect was amazing! My tail was so big I could hug it in front of me and practically disappear. The extra length made me feel a bit like a snep and never ceased to surprise furries passing by. The only real downside is that a much heavier tail takes a lot more effort to move around.
If strangers were surprised you can just image how much attention it attracted from those who knew me. All eyes followed my tail and nearly every vixen I knew asked me what I'd done. By the end of the day, a cute little fennec, who works in an office one level down and couldn't have been that much larger than my enhanced tail, had even asked me out to dinner! Forget leaving a mess of glitter behind you or having a ball press into your spine when you lean back, this is, without a doubt, the best tail-enhancing accessory out there. Yip!
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