Natural Selection
"Mmmmh, Hello? Helloooooo~ This is Sunny Shine speaking! What canni do for YOU today!" Shine squeaked happily into the receiver, the girl dressed in her favorite, fluffy pink bathrobe, having just exit from a luxurious bubble bath in her apartment. She had collapsed on the bed, kicking her legs up with a squeal when she head the voice on the other end! It was Travis! Travis had called her!
"Hello, Shine, it's me. Look, this is important, I gotta-"
"TRAVIS!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Was...was it absolutely necessary to scream into the phone?"
"TRAVIS! Sweetie! It's so wonderful for you to call me! I just got out of the bathtub, and I'm all dripping wet and naked! My boobies are squishing together, and I smell like pink! Hee! I know you love that smell, most wolves do! You should come over and I'll let you smell me allllll over! I used that new shampoo you got me and my hair is all soft and silky and bouncy, and bouncy bounce bouncy bounce!! But omigosh, tell me everything about your day! Did you shoot the fight scene yet?! I wanna be on set when it happens! I hear you get to fight Orlando Bloom! He's soooooooooooooooooooo got nothing on you!! I bet you can take him with one paw behind your back, and your tail cut off! But it's only a movie, I know, but when I think of you two fighting I just get so hot, and all horny naughty, and omigosh I just had a terrific idea! "
"I bet that hurt."
"You should SPANK me!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
"Again with the screaming. Look, I-"
"I mean I could dress up in a little school girl's outfit, or maybe a cheerleading outfit, and I've always liked costumes and you can SPANK me! It's so hot just thinking about it, I'm going to start masturbating over the phone right now! I'm such a naughty girl Travis! GRrrff, you should come over here and take care of me! RIGHT NOW! I wanna feel that hot, throbbing-
"For the love of God shut your mouth."
"OMIGOSH, rude! Travis I-
"I'm NOT Travis! It's me, Spark, you IDIOT."
"Omigosh, WTF!! BBQ!! Why are you on the phone, put Travis back on!"
"What?! Shine, Travis isn't HERE!"
"Did he go to shoot his movie?!"
"I don't know! Look, I'm calling because-"
"If you don't know where Travis is, WHY are you calling me?! I was busy masturbating!"
"...Shine. It's me, Travis. I'm certainly not your sister Spark."
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
"Breathe you idiot."
"OMIGAWDSHUTUP! TRAVIS IS THAT YOU!?"
"Yes."
"OHMIGAWD! SERIOUSLY!?"
"No."
"OMIGAWD! TRAVIS! I thought you were my sister for a minute, not that you have a girlish voice, but it's so soft, and alluring, and I love it when you whisper into my ear while your fat nuts slap against my-
"SHINE! This is very important, you have to listen to me! I-"
"OH. MY. GAWD! You're gonna ask me to MARRY you, aren't you?! "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEE*Gasp*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
"I swear I will end that with violence."
"I TOTALLY SAY YES! OmigawdomigawdOmigawd! I get to have a WEDDIN'! E-"
"If you scream again I will punch you in the ovaries. "
"Omi-
"Same goes if you say that again. Now LISTEN! Sp-"
"We have to get a planner! I wish you didn't wait so long to ask me, but OMIGAWD it's awesome that you did! We need a cake, and I get to pick out my dress, and we'll need one of those priesty guys, and we'll have to pick out a church and get some roses, and flowers and bridesmaids, and maids of honor and a groom! OMIGAWD! YOU'RE THE GROOM!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Darwin what the fuck?! How has Natural Selection not taken it's course already?!"
"We need a band too! How about Smash Mouth! Their fantastic, and I love them in the Shriek movies! And then we, OMIGAWD THERES SPIDER! HOLD ON I HAFTA KILL THIS!"
"NO, WAIT!! LISTEN YOU'RE IN DANGER!
"DUH!! SPIDER!"
"I will open up your brain bowl and let all the stupid out if you don't listen to-"
"WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM!"
"My ears, God, did you try and kill it with the phone?"
"HELLO?! TRAVIS?! "
"Stop...stop screaming into the phone."
"TRAVIS, HELLO? I CAN'T HEAR YOU?! TRAVIS?! I THINK THERE'S SOMETHIN WRONG WITH MY PHONE!! IT MIGHT BE BROKED!"
"You just smashed the phone into the floor to kill a spider!! OF COURSE IT'S BROKEN YOU BRAINLESS FUCKFACTORY!!
"IF YOU CAN STILL HEAR ME, I'M GOING TO THE PHONE STORE TO BUY A NEW PHONE! I ACTUALLY KILLED A PIECE OF LINT, BUT I'VE GOTTA PUT YOU ON HOLD OK!?"
"DARWIN WHAT THE FUCK!" Sparkle snarled as she slammed the phone into the holster. The wolf instantly reached up to rub her temples, whimpering quietly. She and Sugar were in Hollywood on business, Spark attending a convention for bartenders with Sugar attempting to purchase a studio for some project she was working on. The two managed to uncover a plot to kill the movie star Shine- AKA Laura Shadowpaw, AKA Sparkle's younger sister- a crazed fan had deluded himself into believing that she was actually the "real" Shine and the one in the films was an imposter. There was a knock at the door of the hotel room, which Spark opened with a groan. Sugar was standing there in all of her business suit glory.
"I take it from your haggard expression, that you managed to get in contact with our sibling- I also assume you were not able to get a word in edgewise."
"Seriously? Wow, it's almost like you knew that would happen, what being the smartest woman in the world and all. Cute that you'd let me do all the talking. "
"I had a business meeting to attend."
"I think all these business meetings you pretend to go to are really just excuses to go out and feed your weed addiction. "
"Why on earth would I have an addiction to cannabis?"
"To take the edge off the crack?"
"Your humor strikes me as an response to the fear you have for your sister's well being. "
"This is true. I'm afraid her stalker will kill her before I do. "
"Do you really hate her that much?"
"Shine's intelligence rivals that of a bar of soap."
"You're vengeful behavior strikes me as perplexing, and disturbing. We should seek her safety with haste however. "
"Ok, one, nobody actually talks like that. Period. You, are a virgin and it shows. A lot. Two, Why the FUCK shouldn't I go back to bed. Out of ALL the times people have tried to kill me, WHEN has she EVER risked her pretty little neck to save mine?! And this is, what, the second time, I've come to her rescue?! And for what Sugar? I might die doing this shit, and I'm certainly going to burn if I do!"
"One of these days I'm going to have to sit down and actually study you, you are a very enigmatic person."
"Goodness, thank you. I'm not enigmatic, I'm just crazy. But that still doesn't stop me from realizing that I don't owe that bitch one minute of my time. "
"If you didn't care you wouldn't have called her to try and warn her of her impending demise."
"That was BEFORE I had to talk to her. "
"Well in that case, I shall leave you here while I attempt to gain the aid of law enforcement." Sugar said with a tone of disgust in her voice, before she turned sharply on her heel, and padded away from the hotel room. Sparkle, watched her older sister leave and gave a quiet groan, reaching up to rub along the bridge of her nose. She slipped back into the room and closed the door, and walked back towards her room- where she grabbed the room key, and proceeded out with a whine. Now she had to go ahead and find the closest 'phone store' to Shine's apartment...
