My bodyguard/accountant Wilson sometimes helps Santa Claus out and delivers gifts to certain individuals who are way too morally ambiguous for Santa to determine whether they have been naughty or nice.
Wilson solves this issue by directly asking the individual whether they consider themselves naughty or nice, and right after he gets and answer, he stares into the individual's soul with his eyes that he clearly has hidden behind those sun glasses, and gets a clear read of their intentions with their given answer, allowing him to judge and decide if he will either give the individual a gift plus a fresh pineapple, or just coal and a pineapple that isn't as fresh.
He looks kinda different from a normal person because he is basically not a normal person lmao, he comes from the Pineapple country, but don't worry, that's just the way they all look in there, and no, him giving pineapples away is not cannibalism nor slavery, just because he looks like one doesn't mean he or his fellow countrymen are pineapples, pineapples are fruits not persons, they aren't alive at all, and Wilson is clearly a person, he looks like a fruit, but he is an individual with goals, hopes, and dreams!
Ah yes, Wilson is a mute, not because he doesn't have a mouth which he clearly has, but because he is a man of few words, so he carries that sign around with the question he needs to ask on his floating wooden hand... Also, yes, he has legs, it's just that he didn't want to bring them with him today and so he is just floating around this time, he says it's because it is quite cold outside and he doesn't want his legs to be cold.
Still, I think Wilson does a good job at delivering presents and pineapples!
