I asked some people, like artists with experience, what I can do.
All of you know that I'm stuck with the work since September, because I took a lot of work, because I was looking to improve a new full shaded style, I was letting it cheap because it was experimental. I was doing it I was working in large working days, like 10 days without to rest in the week, working days of 10 hours, to broke myself, after it, I lost time lied on bed with eyes shut and doing nothing, but working slowly anyway.
Then, I lived all these things of the alcohol, I was ok drinking, but I don't want damage in my liver, and the withdrawal stuff made me feel so bad at the point of having finished it and start to have another symptoms, like lot of anxiety, think funny things like are a horrific threat are happening, but know that it doesn't make sense.
I feel so good with my art style, thanks to work from time to time I see my work better, and I enjoy doing it, but I start to feel tired fast, and I have to leave, this is always, and I leave it, not for one day, for many days.
I want to work again, not only for income (well, the income is good for the people, because a person feels like it is useful and stuff) but for back to feel like a person again, an independent person.
Lately I feel an impulse to do, only do, but is like I'm tied with a harness for babies. Yesterday I was thinking about things like ask my followers if they will help me to raise funds to update my pc (it is not an expensive thing if you ask) and basic living while I'm sick, working slow. But it not has sense, I can't ask for money when debt art, was a flashing idea. I was thinking to get a wage work too, I have to ask my doctor if I can do it, because they say that I have to rest while the anxiety is lowering.
I don't know what to do, maybe, take my meds and rest for another day, and another, to shut the stupid ideas, to feel better.
I feel hungry, not hungry for food, hungry to finish it, hungry to back to independence, back to study, hungry to do.
Also, I forget to comment, can I get a thorax surgery, I talk to a Diversity Secretary because I don't like to have tits, and I'm scheduling a tubal sterilization, it makes me feel good, are processes that will help me with issues like dysphoria.
