Hey everyone, it's been awhile since I made a new journal and felt it'd be right to make a new one as I hadn't made a new one in over 4 months.
It's been 5 months since I lost my father to cancer back in April of this year after many months of his health declining and myself and my mom and carers at home taking care of him until his passing. I felt like I lost a big part of myself when he passed away and feel it's my fault and wish I could had done more to help him.
Cancer and other illnesses such as that are really horrible things to have and would never wish it on anyone, nor on my worst enemies. Even though it's been months now, but it's still really raw to me as I had been having severe episodes of depression, anxiety and self doubt and low self esteem as I haven't been the same person since then. :(
And I really do feel rotten and bad as I feel I'm letting you all down for not drawing as much art of bosomy curvy bunnies (2023 being the year of the rabbit) and other curvy women as much as I originally promised at the very start of this year. I guess it shows how much of a failure I really am lol. Just been having bad art blocks as my mental health has been damaged pretty bad from losing my dad and the aftermath of two years of shutdowns and health mandates that severely had a toll on my motivation to draw. But now I'm pushing myself to draw again and get Clients commissions done I've been owing 2-3 years and am determined to get them done by the end of this year.
I will make a new journal in a couple of days mentioning the clients I still owe works to and I'm happy to do them free of charge as well as you've all waited this long and figured I might as well make it up to those of you who comm'd me for art ^^'
And in the next journal I plan to reveal plans for furry webcomics and a discord server I plan to do in the near future as a way for fans and friends to hang and chat with me as well as artists to share their works as well as other art, media, memes and even have movie nights. More will be mentioned about that in the next journal for those of you interested in hearing more on that.
And lastly, I want to mention about the possibility of myself changing my art name in the near future as well as a new fursona that reflects my current present day personality and represents myself online in the fandom. As we all know, our sonas and art names reflect our personalities at the time of their creation and when I made Jasmine-Redkat back around 2014 (After being Redstorm-87 on DA and elsewhere briefly) And been barman 87 on FA for many years as I couldn't change that, but plan to in the near future.
When I made Jasmine, my redhead feline sona back around 2011, it was at a time in my life during my pre transition years before I made the steps to transition from male to female as Jasmine was an idealised sort of person I wanted to be like years after I transitioned.
But now I've more of less achieved that, I plan to have a change up a bit to reflect my new kind of personality, something with a Cardi B and Nicki Minaj, urban hip hop kinda vibe to which I plan to design and reveal sometime soon :3
I just wanted to ask you all how you'd feel about such thing as those of you I've interacted with all these years have known me as "Jasmine" or "Jass" and other nicknames such and didn't want to go ahead with making such a move until I've checked to see how my fans felt about it first.
That's pretty much it for this journal. Hope you are all having a happy spoopy month so far, Being October and Halloween being nearer X3
I really do appreciate the love and support you've all given me these years and difficult months. Do know I really appreciate it, Even if at times I beat myself up with self defeatist thoughts on how I don't deserve all the praise.
I really do appreciate you all for sticking around me all these years and hope you are all doing well
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7 months, 4 weeks ago
09 Oct 2023 15:35 CEST
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