I've had some rough shit happen to me these last few months that have taken a massive toll on my mental health and overall motivation to draw and I'ma be real, I really don't enjoy drawing as much anymore. A lot of the joy and reasons for why I did art that these past few years were with a handful of friends who have now ripped me out of their life and I wont ever get to talk to them again or view their work through normal means because I'm blocked. As a result, I've been heavily depressed and have done things to my body I'm not proud to admit as a result.
As it stands, I dont wanna quit cause art is a big part of my income and sometimes the urge still kicks in but outside of that, I'm just so defeated and sad. Anything i liked drawing, I would always share with those people and now I can't and it tears me up inside. It's obviously not healthy to be this way but im more or less just trying to cope and find reasons to keep going. Art is my life and some of the light has been snuffed out.
I've spoken to a good deal of friends and tried being in touch more with others to try and fill the void but shit doesn't feel the same and I don't think it ever will for me anymore. I just don't know. Call me melodramatic or something but Im just really going through it and this kind of loss I dont think I'll be getting over for a very long time.
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4 months, 2 weeks ago
07 Jan 2024 01:31 CET
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