I had put the incident from mind, but I feel that it's a good case-in-point example for not needing to have the last word on a matter. The journal entry that sparked this reflection rather succinctly states that it's often better to shut your mouth and let your opposition make your point for you. (https://inkbunny.net/j/508907)
"Do not interrupt your enemy when they are making a mistake." -Sun Tzu, I believe. (Full of quotes but fuck if I can accurately place them to names without Google, lately.)
Let them dig their own grave as they tie their own noose, because the ones who are most intent on having the final word are often the most incorrect. I'm not shy about stating that I'm autistic. I try my best to get that out there when I feel there's going to be something that might get taken out-of-context or seen as something other than me verbalizing the merits and flaws of each side in an argument. I try to see a matter from all angles and articulate the ones which are not being considered, so that others may consider them as well. If I don't give voice to an idea while it's fresh on my mind, it gnaws at me until I find the opportunity, but it's often not worth the resulting drama.
For the record, I consistently land more Liberal (left) and Libertarian (down) than Ghandi on the political compass tests, but I am not about to discount scientific fact, documented history, and Federal records/reports just to back up my world view -- I'm autistic, not an idiot activist.
Example:
I recently had someone rambling and raving at me for well over an hour about all manner of things that I used to hold sacred and central to my being. They then attacked and ridiculed positions that I now hold and causes that I support. I asked to change the subject, lest an argument ensue, and was derided as all the "isms" and "phobics" that could be mustered (entirely without merit) by someone who knows me well enough to have attended my family gatherings and seen proof contrary to their latest claims.
I managed perhaps 5 (frequently interrupted) minutes of speaking during this entire affair and then reiterated that I wanted the subject changed and dropped, for the sake of peace and civility. Cue the ad hominem attacks. Impotent fury. "Autistic screeching" from the other end of the voice chat. I disconnected and the tirade continued in DMs. I woke the next morning to a text message that briefly stated: "I looked it up. You were right. I am sorry."
Abraham Accords, misrepresented quotes, false allegations, the content of a state bill, media coverage versus the actual event, foreign conflict, etc. were all topics that I tried to weigh in on, only to be quickly silenced by uneducated, emotional grievance based on nothing more than opinion and biased media coverage.
I didn't get the last word. I didn't want it. I didn't know whether or not it was worth taking that sort of verbal abuse for the sake of a friendship. I just... gave up, closed Discord, and resigned to living in a hole for the rest of eternity because social situations are anathema to me and conflict is my kryptonite. This is not to say that I won't rise to the challenge, where needed, but autism and conflict mix like oil and water. The fact that someone can be so dead set on being "right" and getting in the final word on a matter runs counter to all the measured and logical parts of my mind. And it nearly destroyed a 20-year friendship in an evening. It's simply not worth it.
I have traveled a road similar to yours; let us hope that the lessons learned (by everyone mentioned or alluded to in this journal) will be enough to guide us through future challenges... :)
I have traveled a road similar to yours; let us hope that the lessons learned (by everyone mentioned
