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Therapy

I've returned to therapy earlier this year.  But today's session made me realize how much trauma I've been through; corporeal punishment, broken bones, painful memories, etc.  At some point in my life, I started coping by making light of my predicaments.

Last week, I watched a video that just happened to detail the consequences corporeal punishment has on a child growing up.  And a whole lot of things make sense about me now.

I hope I don't snap at some point or explode from an emotional trigger.  But I feel like my triggers would either be a belt, an extension cord, or being kicked out of a birthday party.

Viewed:	55 times
Added:	3 weeks, 1 day ago 17 Apr 2024 06:20 CEST

22 Comments on this Journal

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DistantWanderer

3 weeks, 1 day ago

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Wow im very sorry you gone thought. Its good you are assisting to therapy.

Its certainly an horror show many had during their childhood. i thankfully never suffered to your extent but i certainly get on edge when shouts and arguments happened. i didnt got kicked out a birthday but once I got invited to a parthy and when i came many said "who invited him?" my mom just kept on driving then. ugh it was awful but not as your case.

Hope you can heal more during your sessions.

BlackFlash09

3 weeks, 1 day ago

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@ DistantWanderer

Thank you

Imagine being invited to a party, just for the birthday boy to tell you "You're not one of my friends. You got to go." Now imagine him doing it twice. I'm not sure why he was like this, but I wish he could know how much pain he put me through.

Thanks again.

Dave2

3 weeks, 1 day ago

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Can't regret the past, can only learn from it. Keep moving forwards one day at a time with your head held high! You're doing really great! =)
x

BlackFlash09

3 weeks, 1 day ago

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@ Dave2

Thanks. "Keep Moving Forward" also happens to be the name of comic series I'm writing.

Shadowwalk

3 weeks, 1 day ago

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Oh my. Very sorry to hear that was the case.

Best wishes on further healing.

BlackFlash09

3 weeks, 1 day ago

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@ Shadowwalk

Thanks. Hopefully I'll be able to move pass all of this one day...

ZarkenchiSonku

3 weeks, 1 day ago

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I know exactly how you feel, buddy. I went through a great deal of hell growing up with Horrifying trauma abusive blood parents, wrongful punishment, and painful memories as well. Therapy is in a bad thing, it’s a way to help you heal. But know this buddy, be proud that you’re still here speaking right now. It shows that you are strong hearted and can still choose to move forward even with all of the horrible things life has dealt it on you.

If ever you feel like you’re gonna have a trigger explosion, I recommend you turn around, take a deep breath, slowly exhale and repeat that several times. Also, think positive thoughts. Think of things that made you happy or accomplishments you’ve done in your life. Believe me, it helps. If you feel like you need to vent or just need someone to talk to you about this, I am here to hear you and I believe there are others that are willing to hear you out as well.

BlackFlash09

3 weeks ago

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@ ZarkenchiSonku

Thanks, man.

I've been doing breathing exercises with my therapist when we meet.

Esitaro3670

3 weeks, 1 day ago

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God, sorry to hear of what you going through and hope everything does well

BlackFlash09

3 weeks ago

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@ Esitaro3670

Thanks. It all just piled on yesterday. I hadn't thought about how much I've been through until now...

ChaosSonic1

3 weeks, 1 day ago

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you need a hug?

BlackFlash09

3 weeks ago

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@ ChaosSonic1

Maybe..

ChaosSonic1

3 weeks ago

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@ BlackFlash09

*air hugs you*

BlackFlash09

3 weeks ago

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@ ChaosSonic1

*air hugs back*

LadyBomber

3 weeks ago

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I'm so sorry you had to go through those traumas.
I won't be able to understand how you feel, but it's good to know that you are in therapy so you can have the mental health you deserve. That is a very important and valuable step.

It's a hard process, but the important thing is that you're doing it.
I hope you can heal all that damage you have carried, and that you can have the happiness you deserve.

BlackFlash09

3 weeks ago

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@ LadyBomber

Thanks, man. I hope I can heal the right way.