[Possibly start with some mic-tapping and feedback like Nuke is addressing an audience but maybe not.]
[Silence until music note.]
My fellow furries.
I come to you today to address a very important issue in the fandom. Perhaps the most important issue that could possibly concern any of us.
I've come to speak to you about the month of OTT-ober.
"What's that?" I hear you say, "Don't you mean FOXtober?" or perhaps, "Surely you mean OctoBEAR?" or even the less-known "Octopus-ober."
And that's just the problem, isn't it?
[Music begins to fade in.]
Too long have these other popular species tried to hold domain over that special month. Even though I am no otter myself, I have come to ask my fellow otter-lovers to rise up in support of our adorable otter brethren.
These beautiful, playful creatures would never fight for an entire month on their own. No, the otter is far too playful and loving as a group to demand this most precious month. That is why we must demand it for them!
I know this might be difficult for many of you. I myself am a timid and submissive sort at heart... but my fellow otter lovers, we must ask ourselves when enough is enough.
That's why, when someone comes to you and says that Ottober is for anyone else, I want you to think of those sweet, adorable fellows and say:
"NO! It's OTTober!"
These three little words can do so much this year! Let's all do our part to help our otter friends! Whenever you're facing anyone who might tell you otherwise, think of those round muzzles! Those twitching whiskers!
Yes, it's not easy to love otters the way we do. Every day spent just hoping they might grace with some scrap of attention, those webbed hand-paws reaching out for a gentle touch of friendship on a shoulder to say "Thank you! Thank you for helping ottters!"
So get out there, otter-lovers! Do it for the thick tails, the playful wiggling and the adorable, bright eyes of otters! Together, this year, we'll make this the greatest OTTober yet!!
Nuke
