The snow came down heavily coating the landscape in one big white blanket. It was four days till Christmas and Thomas the cheetah had just finished putting up the decorations in his bungalow. "Finally!" The cheetah thought to himself. Thomases profession didn't leave much free time; but then again, being part of a group of super heroes is challenging and frantic work, days off were almost non existent in his profession however recently there had been no major villains causing trouble and each individual member could handle "minor" incidents on their own so decided to take shifts fighting crime to give the others much needed R&R. Thomas was a big muscular cheetah with bright red spotted fur and an orange underbelly. As you've probably guessed, Thomases superpowe is super speed. He could sprint anywhere with lightening speed, quicker than the human eye could see. When the cheetah wasn't in his uniform he liked to relax in a casual plain black t-shirt and slightly baggy blue jeans. After admiring his work Thomas headed into the kitchen to grab a nice cold beverage.
As Thomas re entered the living room there was a knock at the door.
"I wonder who that could be" He thought to himself.
The cheetah opened the front door to find no one there. He poked his head out the door into the cold air and looked around. "Punk Kids!" He muttered to himself. Just as the cheetah was about to head back inside his attention was drawn to the doorstep.
Sitting on top of the door mat was a christmas present. The gift was a blue square box almost tall enough to reach thomases knees, with the lid slotted on top and red ribbon wrapped around it and tied off neatly at the top in a bow to keep the lid on. Attached to the ribbon was a folded card tag. Thomas opened the card to find it read nothing more than "Merry Christmas from W.F." with three kisses at the bottom.
Thomas was confused. "Who on earth is W.F.???" The cheetah just shrugged it off and proceeded to pick up the present and carry it inside. The box was so heavy that even Thomas struggled to carry it with his strong muscley arms. "What the frig is in this thing?!!! Must be something expensive, best not break it cos if it does turn out to be a load of crap then at least I can probably flog it for a good price".
Thomas placed the gift on the floor in the living room and knelt down in front of it. The suspense was killing him, he desperately wanted to know what was in this present. Impatiently he pulled the ribbon undone, it slid off the gift fairly easy.
*Beep!*
The cheetah suddenly stopped and leapt to his feet. "What was that?!! What did i just do?!!"
Suddenly with lightening speed the top of the box flew off and out came a series of robotic arms with robotic hands attached of various sizes. Before the cheetah had time to react the biggest of the hands moved behind him almost instantly after emerging from the box. The robotic hand lifted the back of the cheetahs t-shirt to find his jeans sagging to reveal his red boxers. The cold metal hand took a firm grip of Thomases waistband and before the cheetah had time to react the hand yanked his boxers up his back at breakneck speed. Thomas screamed with pain as he felt the fabric from his boxers cut into him, the pain was so intense it felt like he was being given a wedgie in underwear made out of cheese wire.
Thomas was so preoccupied with the pain that he didn't notice another mechanical tool emerge from the box; this one was different, this one was a spraying nozzle mounted onto the end of a robotic tentacle. The nozzle manoeuvred close to an area of exposed underwear fabric and sprayed it with a mysterious liquid. Thomas could feel the cold liquid slowly engulfing his underwear, then suddenly it evaporated almost instantly leaving them bone dry again. At this point the nozzle retreated back into the box.
*Beep!* "STAGE 1 COMPLETE!" A computerised voice announced from inside the box. At the same time what looked like a set of four sturdy legs with drills on the end emerged from the box. Each one drilled itself into the flooring around the box, presumably to provide extra support for what was coming next. "COMMENCING STAGE 2" *BEEP!*
With lightening speed the mechanical hand hoisted the cheetah off the ground, suspending him in the air by his boxers. Before Thomas even had time to fight back the remaining hands were all over him, whoever designed this contraption must have definitely taken his super speed into consideration as the hands were almost faster than he was." While the bigger hand suspended him off the floor two of the smaller hands grabbed his wrists and pulled them together in front of him.
From inside the box two more small robotic hands emerged holding a roll of duck tape. Again with lightening speed the hands mummified the cheetahs paws and wrists together with duck tape.
"HEEEEELP!!!" Thomas yelled in desperation hoping that by chance a passer by would hear him. "SOMEBODY PLEAS *MFLL!*" The two small hands released the cheetahs wrists and immediately clamped his mouth shut, before completely mummifying it with duck tape in mere seconds, however the hands made sure to leave his nose clear to breath; whoever was behind this must definitely want him alive.
*BEEP!* "STAGE 2 COMPLETE! COMMENCING STAGE 3!" *BEEP!*
"Crap!" Thomas thought to himself as he dangled helplessly watching the smaller hands retreat back into the box leaving only the hand he was dangling from. "How could this possibly get any worse??!!"
Suddenly, the hand started jerking the poor cheetah up and down frantically, giving him a nasty bouncing wedgie. The pain was so intense Thomas began to cry; his balls were in intense pain from the pressure.
For about ten agonising minutes the robotic hand bounced Thomas up and down like a furry yoyo. Suddenly the hand stopped bouncing and started swinging the poor cheetah around the room causing him to knock over various ornaments. After another ten agonising minutes the hand stopped swinging Thomas.
*BEEP!* "PROGRAM PAUSED!" *BEEP!*
Through the tears and the pain Thomas breathed a sigh of relief. He thought his ordeal was finally over; how wrong he was. The robotic arm raised the cheetah high up so he was almost touching the ceiling and stopped. Nothing happened; the cheetah was left hanging helplessly from the robotic hand. He tried desperately to free his hands but had no luck, he even tried bouncing and swinging around in the hopes that his boxers would rip but he had no luck. After about fifteen minutes of struggling Thomas slumped into his wedgie and admitted defeat. He had no idea how long he would be left hanging there or if his boxers would eventually rip but there was one question that was troubling him...
Had anyone else received one of these evil gifts?
To Be Continued
